Alien Abduction

So, (Mariel speaking. ahem NOT an old lady name) little did we know, this trip is not only taking us across the country, but into outer space.  Yep, that's right: we were abducted by aliens.  We were all kind of in shock, so we don't remember much except that the little green guys were really nice--very hospitable--and, as it turns out, were just looking for directions to the next galaxy...  Unfortunately, what seemed like a few hours to us "up there" was actually like two weeks Earth-time. Which explains our lack of blog-posting....

Not buying it?  Well, all I have to say to you is :P.  It actually happened...or was that just a really strange dream...

Regardless of our misadventures with aliens, we are back on track and back to blogging.  And boy has a lot happened.  First off, Renee went to a party where she ended up wrestling this random guy, and won.  It was quite a contest--she threw him against a wall at one point (I never learned that in girl scouts...).  At least Renee didn't break out her baby fists--otherwise the guy would have just laughed because those things are TINY.  No offense, Renee. I have baby fists too.  Speaking of myself, I did not attend the party, and neither did Shannon.  I worked on perfecting the art of starting a fire with a chocolate bar and a pop can--unsuccessfully, but I'm going to do it!!!!!!!!!!  Shannon watched me.  And laughed at my frustration. A lot.  I worked on starting a fire for like 2 hours, and then Shannon just whipped out the matches and started a fire in like five seconds.  She does not have confidence in my cave-girl skills, not that cavepeople would have have a pop can or a chocolate bar...but still. Grrrrrr. Although it was getting cold, so I guess I can't really blame her.

The rest of our time has been pretty easy going.  Lots of farms. Oh! Funny story about farms.  We were just walking along and this guy comes riding up on a tractor and is like "Get off my prop'ty, you whippersnappers!"  He has to be like 80 and he has this big beer gut and we are on the ROAD which I'm pretty sure belongs to the government or something.  To say the least, we aren't very intimidated, so we just kind of ignore him and make what-the-heck faces at one another and walk a little faster because his tractor is probably the slowest tractor I've ever seen.  Then comes the interesting part: "Dontchewalkawayfromeeeeee!!" he yells and whips out a pitchfork, which does freak us out and we RUN--I mean, we really book it until he's just a little dot in the distance.  The next morning, when we are walking through this little dinky town, the front page of the weekly paper reads "Bob Smitherson Goes Bonkers" and shows a picture of the old tractor guy holding his pitchfork up in the air with a dead, roadkill skunk speared on the end of it.  We don't say anything but I can tell what we were all thinking: I'm glad that skunk is not us.

Tips we've got for yall:
1) Don't talk to strangers.  Really don't talk to old fat guys on tractors.
2) While aliens may be nice, make sure they return you to the proper time zone.
3) Gotsod Rudoglo: "Where is the Andromeda Galaxy" in the Lpoglo (the aliens') language.  Just in case you ever feel like exploring outer space in your free time.

 Lots of farms........

St. Louis

Renee speaking:

I know I should be excited that we've made it to St. Louis, but it's been a rough couple days. It's harder to wake up by the time we want to, and we're moving at a much slower pace, losing a couple miles a day.

I have a blister on my right heel that keeps reopening every time it gets close to healing.  We need new shoes.  

(Shannon says we brought two pairs.)

More new shoes.

 St. Louis was big.  Actually too big.  I didn't like it.  It's noisy, dirty, I mean, it's like when you blow your nose - it's like you're blowing nasty blackness.  

My rib from feeling like I got hit by an eighteen wheeler feels a little better, but I'm considering purchasing a rolly backpack by the next city.  I don't care if I look stupid.  I will have a rolly backpack all the way to LA.  I might lose it right outside of LA, but I will have it.  I'll get rid of it before LA so no one has to see me with it so I don't look like a nerd. 

If you haven't learned by now, there's no filter from what I think to what is said or written for other people to read/hear.  I think Mariel's getting tired of me.  I look over sometimes and she's glaring.  Like, I know she does this regularly but it seems every time I look over, she's glaring at me - and I really think she may kill me in my sleep.  I can't help it that I have to set three alarms in order to wake up in the morning.  I can't wake up if I set any less.  I feel like even though I see Shannon, every day we're becoming more distant.  We once had meaningful conversations and now it's turned into just weird shit.  All we say is Eener, and so many more weird thinks I can't think of right now.  

My lips are chapped from licking.  We forgot the Gentleman Tips book that we bought in Peoria.  The weather has been halfway nice... I hear it's still raining in Michigan.  It sucks for them... and I don't really care because I'm not there.  But we are exhausted and I know we still have a long ways to go.  

Let me tell you, they party hard in St. Louis.  We accidentally walked through a family reunion, considering we were cutting across things... Turns out, everyone was so drunk that they didn't even recognize we weren't members of their family.  

If you were wondering why there was a family reunion going on, apparently it's a hot commodity in St. Louis.  They have a whole website for it:

St. Louis Reunions

We hung out for a while because they had a lot of food (which we were lacking.)  They had everything I had ever wanted.  By the way, this is Cotton's family reunion.  

 

They had barbeque chicken, and deviled eggs and green bean casserole, which was kind of strange because they put bacon in it ... not a big fan of the bacon in the green been casserole.  And corn on the cob, they even buttered it for me - they're so nice.  

 

Things got a little crazier though as the night progressed.  Apparently cousin Greg asked Mariel to take some family shots and considering we didn't want our cover to be blown as the family reunion crashers - we had Mariel take these shots.  She didn't ask what was in them, she just closed her eyes and took them like a champ.  Everything was fun and games, until after awhile she took one that made her the angriest person in the world.  So her and cousin Greg are having a good time, and there's a dispute over how to say some phrase in German since Mariel's on this German kick.  I don't remember what it was but I just remember that Mariel got ugly fast and we had to leave immediately because she started making a scene.  She flipped a table, kind of hulked out. 

Kinda like this:

Anyways - we didn't happen to record or get any pictures throughout this entire incident but when we got her away from everything we managed to calm her down and this is her breaking down in the stairwell of some building in St. Louis. 

Hopefully tomorrow is better. 

What I've learned this time, or at least the last couple of days, is that sometimes your wilderness survival guide is not prepared for the actual wilderness.  

Sidenote to Shannon: We're on our own.

So now we need to sleep and one of us will update in one to a few days or something.  

Word.  

5. When in doubt, don't try to play Redneck Horseshoes

We Love Peoria!

Hello everyone.  It's now been a week since we started and we didn't expect such tragedy.  We're tired, hungry as hell, and in the middle of nowhere, Peoria, Illinois.   

We've made it here though, which is great - and for now we're just hanging out at a pit stop trying to get by.  Mariel is still in a good mood though because she saw the chocolate exhibit in Chicago, I'm doing pretty well because I saw the whale exhibit, and Renee... well, Renee has lost all hope because she's already managed to break a rib in the first week.

Since we're tired, hungry as hell, and in a pit stop in the middle of nowhere, below is a picture of Renee - hoarding food in the bathroom that we're at. 

Don't judge us.

 

Alright, now that our state of distraughtness and frustration has been explained to you, we'll show you Peoria. 

Where is Peoria you ask?

 

 (This photo is not ours, we found it on Google.)

Peoria, although a nice city, is a rather big town with a small heart feelin'.  We got to hang out there for a day or so as we were passing through and we met a lot of great people, like Parker James, Frank, and Mariel (#2), also known as CatladyCatladyCatlady!! (Please note, that this is a different Mariel - as affirmed by the #2.)

We were lucky enough to hang out a council meeting of theirs and if you want to check it out as well, you can do so here:  

Peoria City Council Meetings!

Parker James's birthday was last week so we wished him a happy birthday.  Renee wanted to have an extensive conversation about environmental issues with CatladyCatladyCatlady; however, we told her that we didn't have time and we had to be on our way... and she's still mad at us for that.  Oh well.

(Mariel still thinks that we're going to die because I stopped being a girl scout a year earlier than her, and Renee was never one.)

The weather's been rough.  I've heard it's been raining all over Michigan too, but it's really been raining here.  I just wish it would stop.  We brought 12 pairs of socks, but we're really going through those like ants on a piece of trash.  (A simile courtesy of Renee.)  

We're also running out of our 1 lb jaw breakers.  If anyone wants to supply us with new ones, that would be great.  Who knew that they would go so fast on such a trip?

Like ants on a piece of trash.

Since we've started this trip, we've experienced some interesting things.  A homeless man tried to eat Renee's triscuits, so she fought him off... with a stick (I did not condone this!) and won... she then ate her triscuits and they were gone shortly after.  Mariel received a tetanus shot from a clinic after cutting herself on some strange metal.  And I, Shannon, have been yelled at sixteen times for picking up stray animals.  Renee tells me that they will just eat all of her food, so there are no animals allowed.

(But she doesn't know that I'm hiding this hedgehog in my backpack):

All in all, this trip has thus far proved to be interesting.  We're still walking though so keep yourself updated by checking back every few days!  We'll add more to the blog as we make more stops. 

 Rule number four:

4. Food is more important than love

First stop: Chicago

So. As you can see, the windy city really is windy. I just thought that was just what people said, you know, like how Greenland sounds like it would be green but it's not. Who knew it really was windy? 

Our first stop upon arriving was going to the Field Museum. It. Was. Awesome. The museum currently has an exhibit on chocolate (which I loved), and an exhibit on whales, which Shannon found interesting since she just finished reading Moby Dick for one of her classes.  Going from being in almost complete seclusion through the farmland of Michigan and Indiana, Chicago was quite a shock.  People rushing everywhere, stores larger than any I have ever seen, and all on the shore of beautiful Lake Michigan.  A true example of Nature and Civilization residing side by side.

Surprisingly, Renee and Shannon are holding up better than I thought they would.  They have mastered the art of not jingling like a bag of coins when they walk through the wilderness (see tip #3 below) and they are beginning to become accustomed to setting up and tearing down camp every night.  Don't get me wrong, though--it takes a lot out of you.  As Renee said this morning: "I feel like I've been hit by a truck.  An 18 wheeler."  We haven't had to eat any ants yet, but this is just the beginning...

Keep walking with us!

The third rule that we learned:

3. Ass clutching prevents jingling

Off We Go!

Welcome!

We are just three residents.  Three residents from 6 Hill at Oakland University and this is a blog on our adventures.  You see, we plan on walking across America:  That's right, we're takin' good old route 66 to Los Angeles, California and we plan on keeping you updated along the way.  Good days, bad days, you will be witness to it all.  We plan on doing this for the next two months - so you're in for an interesting journey.  

To begin with, we have two rules that we're going to keep in mind as we start this trip:

1. Always eat the ants

2. Don't split up

Aand, in case you were wondering, how are you going to do this?!  Oh - if you knew us, you'd know that we will find a way.  We plan on making pit stops to update our blog, wash our faces, and call family.  Don't be sad if you don't get a call - LA is far away and we don't have a lot of time.  We don't plan on bringing a lot of things, but in case you're super nosy - here's our list:

(And you can assume that this is replicated for each of us.)

1. 2 pairs of tennis shoes

2. Waterbottles

3. 12 pairs of socks

4. A Bottle of Waterproofing

5. A Change of Clothes

6. Bug Spray

7. Toothpaste

8. Sweet and Salty - Peanut and Almond Granola Bars

9. Laptop

10. Portable Blender

11. 1 lb. Jaw Breaker

Now, please enjoy this introduction video on us.  It should explain our endeavors thoroughly.  We appreciate you reading this blog and hope that you remain loyal fans.  We're looking for cheerleaders on this trip.  It's hard, but we are confident in our abilities.